7 Facts About Mario You Didn’t Know (Satire)

46505-New_Super_Mario_Bros._(U)(Psyfer)-3 So much has been said about everyone’s favorite goomba-stomping plumber, but there are still some facts about the iconic Nintendo mascot that even the most hardcore retro enthusiasts don’t know. Up your nerd cred by dropping these bits of forgotten Mario trivia on your closest gamer buds!

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1. The lead roles in the 1993 Super Mario Bros. feature film were originally offered to Carl Weathers and Wesley Snipes in order to capitalize on the popularity of early 90’s Afro-American hip-hop culture. That plan was ultimately nixed, however, when casting director Don Finn told Hollywood Pictures executives that choosing African-Americans would “logically explain why they can jump so high.” They ultimately decided on white dudes with jetpacks.

snipesweathers

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2. The character of “Mario” was originally conceived during World War II as collaboration between the so-called “Axis Of Evil” countries as a figurehead for anti-American propaganda aimed towards young children. By creating a lovable, Hitler-esque caricature in the Japanese style and presenting him as being of Italian ancestry, they hoped to rally youngsters from all three countries to the ongoing fight against freedom.  The program was ultimately shelved when, you know, America won.

nazi mario

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3. There is a section of unused code in the original version of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for the Nintendo 64 in which Sheik reveals himself to be Mario in disguise instead of Zelda.

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4. The now-famous “fire flower” was originally added to early builds of the original Super Mario Bros. by programmer Toshihiko Nakago in order to appease producer Shigeru Miyamoto, who constantly complained that he couldn’t advance past “the assholes with the hammers”. It was left in the final version of that game by mistake, but has remained a staple of the series to this day.

Fire_Mario_Artwork_-_New_Super_Mario_Bros

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5. Due to the cultural rivalry between itself and Japan, Mario games cannot be legally sold at retail anywhere in China. However, modded versions of Mario games have been rebranded as Gǒu shǐ guàiwù péngyǒu, which roughly translates to “Shit Monster Friends”, and are popular commodities in the bootleg market. In these versions, Mario and Luigi are presented as sewer-dwelling Japanese figureheads who are perpetually defeated by a socialist Bowser that totally has a sweet Fu Manchu moustache.

bowser manchu

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6. If you complete the North American version of Super Mario Bros. 2 fourteen times without powering off the system and enter the Konami code backwards on a controller plugged into the second controller slot during Mario’s dream, you are presented with an alternate ending where Mario awakes from slumber and declares that “Alex Kidd is a little bitch.”

secret mario 2 ending

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7. Something, something, something, illuminati…

Sources: don’t worry about it

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