Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot about this old indie game called Girlfriend Construction Set, and I was eventually persuaded to check this dating simulator out and see what all of the hubbub was about. Within a few minutes, I found myself becoming the very kind of jerk I loathe in reality. And Lord help me, it felt pretty good.
I started out by typing my name and the name of my virtual girlfriend. I was then tasked with choosing her face. Naturally, I chose the most aesthetically pleasing pixelated mug, which coincidentally happened to be a 10.
Next, I was tasked with calculating her stats:
After this, it was off to the races. For our first date, I chose the default dinner option:
She agreed, naturally, but during the date the waiter spilled soup on her. My gentlemanly instincts kicked in, and I helped her dab away the stain.
For our second date, I asked her to go to a party at her friend’s house. She declined. Flipping the script, I then invited her to go to a female strip club.
I then offered to take her to a nightclub, the opera, and the zoo. No, no, and no.
So I pulled out the big guns:
So there we were on the beach, relaxing in the sun, when:
Going with my gut, I decided to stare at an enormous pair of ripe mangos nearby. Which then led to:
Which then led to:
Never one to overstay my welcome, I felt it was best to recede into the night. When I returned, this is what I found:
Unfortunately, I don’t think she bought my lie about heeding nature’s call:
When we got back to the States, things kind of cooled, and I never called her again. But there’s no reason for me to fret, as there are at least 9 other fish in the Girlfriend Construction Set sea.